Lost.... & Found

I learnt sumthin n i will tell u wad
Never thought i would lose it... But still i did
Never gave up the optimism of getting it back . . . And yes i did.
The difference made is not in getting back what you lost but the intensity with which you believed it was yours and that it would come back to you... Because... No one else on the planet or the universe loved it as much as you did.
Maybe its damn too true when they say something as filmy as "When you want something or someone really that bad, the whole world gets going in your support to help you get to it".

Fav Song

Missing out on the person you love is something like missing out on the song you love on your playlist . . . If you really love it and if it really matters to you that much, you would go back to it no matter how lovely the next or the currently playing song is :-)

I Know

You wanna go somewhere
I know
Its a beautiful place
I know
You wanna get there soon
I know
Faster than everyone thinks
I know
You wanna meet someone
I know
Someone you have dreamt about
I know
People may say its untrue
I know
But you are willing to wait
I know
You wanna make your parents smile
I know
A smile that says we are proud
I know
You wanna take the worries away
I know
And you know you wont step back
I know
There world you feel is unjust
I know
Placing you in difficult times
I know
You get upset n feel so low
I know
There is so much you wanna express
I know
Telling yourself this is real
I know
Giving up is not the solution
I know
But still the gut feeling doesn't go away
I know
N you know you will do it one day
I know
You find so much of me in yourself
I know
You wanna know who i am
I know
But you know i can't be you
I know
Unless all that i know is what . . .
You know :-)

did you say THINK ???

I don't think I really like to write things that you think about, I like writing things that make you think about the way u think. So do you think I have thought about the way you think and made you think the way you don't actually think. There lies a link in the way we think and we dont wanna think. Now I can smell your brains are getting fried and its beginning to stink. So better don't think about the way you think…

Dancing Darkness

Even in the dark there is such a delight playing with the imagination in the presence of the unknown light, don't hold yourself back from feeling the hands of the untouched one coz in the end nothing matters if the heart is pure and the love is won

The way to be...

go ahead and feel it like no one, go ahead rise and shine
go ahead and write ur story, make urself worthy of a shrine

they will pull you down to the quick sand, they will hunt for ur head
they will cut the ropes that hold u high, give it all a damn keep going ahead

say what...

i am not insane i am just tryin to understand myself,

its me who's in pain n m jus tryin to explain myself.

why is it that i cant be different why cant i be me ....

bitter is the truth that even freedom doesn't come for free

how come you talk about democracy and snatch my right to speech

no, today i wont let the trust and my conscience face another breach

accept it now or regret it later the fact remains that my genere was all about audacity

and when you realise u cant prognosticate my future, look in my eyes to trace some pity

maybe not . . .

I am trying not to make someone so special in life
such that it becomes impossible to make that person indispensable.
But its difficult , too difficult you know...
Alcohol ain't the only option i know ,
But it helps n helps a lot you know
Remembering , forgeting , analysing , scrutinizing its all so much Easier then
And especially when its about someone you wanna unwantedly let in...
Help me if you can but don't gimme lessons
For the one who's lost , the last thing he wants are feel good sessions.

is it ?

People say Love it blind... is it?
I say its worse than deaf n dumb too
You think i am in love... really, do you ?
Maybe i am of the same opinion too.
Else why can't she read what i write between the lines
Or even understand what i speak in signs
Are things just difficult for me ?
Or is it that i am too immature n my feelings somewhat bland?
Me asking too many questions is the problem?
Can't help it... for thats the way i have learnt to learn in life :-)

Who knows ???

Like the tracks we keep moving ,
From one point to another
Not quite realising what we have or may have left behind
But we believe in our belief that its got to end well
But deep inside do we believe that ourselves
Do we trust what we believe in
Or do we let it in cuz we just expect something better to turn out
Who knows what we are looking out for
At times we even doubt ourselves with our notions

The Walk

i am beginin to feel kinda ........ lonely
dunno if dats good or bad
its time for me to pack my bags n move on .... leavin d past behind and keeping the memories along

imagine a road with no end
which goes as far as ur eyes can see
there are these nice small places by the road where u can put up
whether its raining or chilling cold or dehydrating heat
u know u have to move on ... on that road

n when at times , its too tiring ... if u are lucky u get a lift
if not .. u keep walking
n then u find one of those nice houses
u move in .. u are greeted
n u are so happy to find them ... but u know that u cant stay there forever
so , u are with these new souls whom u get to know for the time u are there , and although u may want to stay on because u like it in there ... u know once u are over ur tiredness ........ u have to get back to the road and move on

moreover , fact remains that you dont actually know wads at the end of the road
u dont even know if u will make it to the end
and at times u dont even know why u want to keep walking
some wanna walk because they want things to get better
some walk because they know what they are reaching to
and some who are even stranger .... walk just to see all that they can about life

Step by Step

Step by step I kept walking on the road ahead,

Not realizing that the beginning had already begun to fade.

Now I knew there was no way back for me,

I had come too far and there was much more to see.

This was life and it was to be lived,

All’s not fair and it’s a fact to be believed.

I thought jealousy was dark and love was bright,

Didn’t know that winning is everything and for it I would have to fight.

Being misunderstood is a part of my life,

Confusion and queries have cut me apart like a knife.

Kept helping others to understand themselves better,

When it was my turn I failed to express emotions that were bitter.

Smiling was an act I would put up when I was happy,

Now it’s become an emotional pain killing and hiding therapy.

Saint is the name I liked for myself but disguised myself as the devil,

Family and friends tried too hard and whatever little they knew of me was on their peril.

I lived by my instincts and relied on its guidance through all that I had done,

Self belief kept me going even if I was the jack of all trades but possibly master of none.

A consultant is what I wanted to be but I don’t know how far I would go,

Criticisms are now getting over me but… no I don’t want to quit the show.

A yes or a no makes a big difference and this time I can’t say “I don’t know”

Life is confusing with all the decisions to make and so am I ,

Have to fulfill the dreams unfulfilled and get over things that make me feel low,

Want that patting on the back from dad, and mom’s lap as my deathbed before I DIE.

Kolkata 'O Kolkata

There is so much to see so much to describe,
so much to feel so much that keeps you trying.
But this place stops me stops me to have a look at it
stops me to think and ask the question "Why???"
Why or how can any place be this different, so undressed
arguments seem to start without a begining to which there's no end
But still i feel connected, connected to some of the spirits here
i can still hear the call which goes unheard by the best of ears

The houses that represent the British touch to the thatched ones
people who remain anorexic, some who wanna look good to some who can't afford that food

HeArT BrEaK .... wad da HeLL :p

"There are times in your life when a person walks into your world and makes you feel you were incomplete before,

emotions flow which you are not supposed to show and yet other than the happiness of this soulmate nothing matters more.

Then one fine day you realise that even the best of dreams come to an end with the sunrise,

you still cant curse the beautiful imagination for not coming true

cause deep inside you do know that the persons well-being is what really matters to you.... the painful part is , even if it means to be without you.

If this was love then you are left with stains of it all over ur heart,

i am trying hard to rub off mine and wont give up even if it tears apart"

I ???

I

I am confused with life.

I am confused with the way things are.

I am confused with the way I am.

I am confused with the way the way is.

I am to be something I don’t know

I am to be someone I wanna know

I am to something my parents can proudly show

I am to be the one where hopes begin to flow

I like to be alone when things are bad

I like to sort my problems in my way when I am sad

I like to be with others when they need me the most

I like to be present with everyone being invisible as a ghost

I feel things that others can’t feel

I feel things that even I can’t see

I feel what I am not supposed to feel

I feel like shredding off the rules of steel

I want a life where skies are blue n people are true

I want a life where I do things that I love to do

I want a life where I am to stay the way I am

I want a life where I have a dear friend

I cannot be what I am not

I cannot see cruelty in the world

I cannot be a saint I know

I cannot just bear to see the hatred flow

I love to be loved by people whom I love

I love to be cared by the ones who ask for my goodwill

I love to be spared when there are expectations that I cant fulfill

I love to be dared by the ones who hate me the most

I can accept changes in life

I can accept challenges thrown to me to survive

I can accept the fact that people are not what they seem to be

I can accept the fact that I do possess an abnormality

my space ......